Gassy Emmett

Emmett's tummy is miserable. He is constantly gassy and grunting and fussing and passing gas and crying in pain. It is very sad to see. He is only really content if I am holding him against my chest, and even then, his knees are curled up and his back is arched. He spits up constantly and screams out in pain...then passes gas. The lactation consultant at the hospital recommended that I cut out dairy immediately as she thinks his behavior is for sure the result of something in my diet, and dairy is the most common culprit for upsetting baby's tummy. It takes three weeks to fully get out of my system, so until then, we just wait.

I miss creamer. I had really been enjoying my coffee in the morning with my Girl Scout thin mint coffee mate creamer. Yum. It made getting up at 5am doable. Almost enjoyable.

I miss my protein shakes. They get me started off on the right foot and keep me full throughout the morning. They make me less ravenous during the day and help me to have more self control when it comes to what I eat.

I miss my cheese sticks and greek yogurt. These are two of my biggest go to snacks, especially during late night feedings.

It's worth it though. He's worth it. Seeing him not in pain after he eats, totally worth it.

The Best Days

Last night was rough, and tiring, and even a slight bit frustraitng. Emmett wanted to nurse about every 2 hours for about 45 minutes each time. When he wasn't nursing, he wanted to lay in his bed and grunt and sqeak and gasp and keep mommy and daddy awake with all of his cute (but not so cute in the middle of the night) baby noises. In the meantime his sister woke up several times  throughout the night screaming, "mommyyyyy," and "chocolate milkkkkkkkkk," and "no, no, nooooo." Her breathing wasn't great so she ended up getting to spend some time with daddy, getting a breathing treatment, a diaper change, and  even a story, meanwhile mommy nursed...and nursed...and nursed. Then I snuck away to give still-awake Eden some two a.m. cuddles before crawling back into bed.

This morning when I woke up, exhausted (did I really even sleep at all?), the dreary, rainy weather outside, not helping matters at all, a thought occurred to me......What if these days..... these exhausting days of night feedings and cuddles,  crying,  temper tantrums, endless nursing, breathing treatments and antibiotics, mommy brain, and spit up wearing are the best days of our lives? What if they are the days that we look back on and think, I wish we could go back to those days. I wish I hadn't wished those days away. So many people out in public, at church, the grocery store, the mall, stop and stare longingly at our sweet children and tell us how they miss those days or how they wished their kids or grandkids were so small again. Such sweet times, they say, and you can see in their eyes that they are reliving those memories, they are longing for those times.

I don't want to wish these days away, these days that just might be the best days, away. I don't want to rush them being little. I want to enjoy every minute of it, every sleep deprived minute, and thank God for the two little ones that he has blessed us with, amidst all of the chaos.

Mommy Day

I was planning on taking Eden to daycare for the afternoon today so that I could get my hair done, but I didn't sleep...pretty much...at all....last night----my brain just wouldn't turn off-- so I asked Josh to take her this morning, thinking that I would sleep in. Didn't happen, so I'm working on being productive today to keep my mind off of the fact that in less than one week this baby has to come out.  I've done it before, right? Shouldn't be scary, right? Aghhh.. I'm looking forward more than anything to him being here, but not actually looking forward to the getting him here part. Not looking forward to the  IV, or the numbing shot or the spinal shot, or the out of control part, or the possible puking part, or the fact that my uterus will be outside of me laying on my chest. Yep, not looking forward to that.

So on that being productive..I've spent the morning planning for Edens second birthday party (less than a month away!!!), Alyssa's bridal shower, and organizing the nursery. This afternoon, I have plans for lunch with Chelsea, hair appointment (last color and cut before Emmett comes), and I might even stop and use one of my birthday gift cards to get a latte at Starbucks.... and during it all, I get to do the lovely 24 hour urine sample, one last time to check for any underlying Preeclampsia. The lab forgot the pilgrim's hat to pee into, so it's gonna be one of the more interesting urine collections--and I may or may not be using Eden's potty. Don't judge.

Time to stop blogging. and stop watching Parenthood (seriously, how did I not find this series sooner!?) and get back onto that whole being productive thing!

Adventures with Eden

I cannot get over how much fun and how exciting each new day with Eden is as she grows older and bigger and learns so many new things... Every day is something new.

On singing...She has learned how to sing her very first song all the way through, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. One of the best renditions was probably when she was sick, sleeping in between mommy and daddy, and she sat up out of a dead sleep in the middle of the night, singing it. Then she laid back down and fell asleep. That same night she sat up and said, "pizza? pizza?" I think the breathing treatments...or the beandryl..or a combination of both, made her a tiny bit loopy, but boy was it cute. It's basically the only song she can sing, but she wants to sing it all the time. On a rare occasion, she will sing part of "I love you" from Barney and "Row, row, row your boat."

On talking...Her vocabulary is growing so much and she is putting full sentences together, asking what things are all. of. the. time., pointing out colors, counting, and telling us just exactly how she feels about everything. Anytime she leaves the room, she has to yell, "I be right back." Anytime she wants to help buckle her car seat, or get her own diaper, or open the door, or close the door, or put on her bib, "Mommy, I do it!" Anytime she is leaving, or pretending to leave, she yells, "Bye bye, seeya, have fun!" She proudly tells us now, "I'm a big girl." I'm hoping she keeps that attitude when baby brother arrives, and doesn't regress into being a baby again, although I have a feeling this will be a phase that she will go through.

On temper tantrums...Yep, she's got that down, just like any almost-two-year-old does. Yesterday for instance, going in to the doctor's office, she wanted to push her stroller, and when Josh pushed it instead, so that we could make it into the office in a decent amount of time, she threw herself on the ground screaming and crying--to everyones' amusement.

On just being adorable...This week I also got my favorite video of her ever. She picked up the stethoscope that goes along with the blood pressure cuff and said, "I'm a doctor," she put it on my stomach, and started saying, "beep beep, beep beep, beep beep," listening to the baby's heart beat of course... :)

On her interests...She loves all things Minnie Mouse, wants to listen to Barney Music 24/7, would watch Daniel Tiger for hours (if we would let her), she loves pretty much all food, but yogurt, fruit, cheese, bananas, applesauce are all her favorites. She's a mommy's girl but loves when daddy chases her and reads to her and spins her around. 

I never knew how much love I could have for my sweet daughter. I can't believe that in less than a month she will be a two. No one is kidding when they say, "They grow up so fast."

2014 in Review

This year was a good year.

On Being Mommy- 2014 was a year that I got to spend watching sweet Eden grow from a baby to a  toddler. I got to experience the world through her eyes and see the world from her perspective of newness.  To her, all things are new. It was such a cool thing, and something I am so grateful for. Her personality is becoming so fun and I am just in awe of all of the things that she is learning every day. So many fun firsts too, that I am blessed to have been able to experience with her---learning to walk, first time trick or treating, expanding her vocabulary (this morning she told me, "no mommy, you stay," when I was trying to leave for work,) riding rides at Holiday World, sliding, first haircut, moving up to a big girl bed, feeding herself Orange leaf fro yo---(mommy's ultimate pregnancy craving with her.) Can't wait to experience more firsts (like her first time being a big sister) with her in 2015.

On family- Well, in 2014, Josh and I announced that we would be expanding our family in 2015. We found out in the summer that we were pregnant and were beyond thrilled--and then found out in the fall that we would be adding a little BOY to the family, and naming him Emmett Andrew.  He will be here mid February-Early March, and we are so excited!! Josh and I also celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary this year.

Both my brother and  my sister in law got engaged in 2014. My sister-in-law also got married, and we welcomed Clint into the family, and they announced the start of their family with a baby due in late summer, so I learned that I am going to be an aunt for the first time! Whew. 2014 was certainly busy for them.

2014 was my dad's first full year retired, and I am thankful for all the times that he came to EVV on short notice to watch his sick granddaughter or to help out in anyway we needed. It definitely made our lives easier.

On faith- God has taught me to trust in him. With everything that happened in 2013 I almost felt as if my life was over. For a time, I felt like I had life before my dad was diagnosed with HD and life after, like they were two separate lives that were in no way connected. However, God has been teaching me this year that he is bigger and stronger than any "thing" in our life, even a  disease that seems pretty big. He is faithful in the calm and in the storm. He has shown me time and time again that when things feel out of control, I can still trust in him, I can still take refuge in him. I don't have to be afraid. I spent  the end of 2013 and a good chunk of 2014 giving this disease control. God showed me this year that I don't have to do that, and I finally feel his peace.

On teaching- This has been my first year teaching fifth grade reading and I have loved (almost) every minute of it. Fifth grade is such a cool age, where they still care about your approval and want to please you, but they are also able to have conversations and understand things on a deeper level. The fifth grade class this year overall is phenomenal, and I feel blessed to have been able to teach them. It's also kind of funny that they were the same kiddos that I taught in third grade when I was pregnant with Eden, and now I am teaching them again, this time pregnant with Emmett.

In review this year has been a year of love for my family, learning to trust in God (a lesson that I am sure I will continue to learn and re-learn and learn again throughout my life),  another year of doing a job that I love, and getting to do my second job as mommy, a year of experiencing the small, everyday life things, and learning that these things are really the big things. 2014 has been good to me, and I look forward to what 2015 has to bring.

Life Update

I was honored this weekend to be a part of my sister in law's wedding. It was beautiful and perfect. The day couldn't have gone any better. I am so happy for both of them and their future together. The ceremony went off without a hitch. (well at least a hitch that the bride and groom noticed which is good.) I may or may not have had to leave halfway through the ceremony due to almost fainting. I hadn't eaten much throughout the day, the lights were so bright and it was so hot on stage, topped off by standing still in high heels and being 19 weeks pregnant--it just became too much, and I started feeling hot, and sweaty, and clammy and I knew that I was going to pass out if I didn't sit down, and soon. The crowd got blurry and black, and then I remember Megan (bridesmaid Megan, not the bride) trying to take me down the steps and I knew that that was not going to end well, so we went into one of the rooms by the baptistry. She made sure I was okay, and then Josh showed up and told me how pale I looked and clammy I felt. Then he got me some ice water and we went outside to cool off, and things got much better from there.

On another note, Eden did her flower girl duties like a pro, even though she never threw any of the heart shaped book pages to the ground. She marched down the aisle like she had done it  a hundred times...and then proceeded to scream and cry when she didn't get to come up on stage with mommy. Of course everyone in the ceremony could hear her, even though she was in the lobby. The reception was great too. The food was delicious and everyone had a fun time dancing and reconnecting with friends and family.

This wedding weekend wore me out, so I am looking forward to a three day work week and then a long weekend in Gatlinburg. Looking forward to resting  and taking in the beautiful scenery, hiking, shopping, eating at the Melting Pot. I. cannot. wait.

After we get back from our little vacation, more excitement is in store. No, not going back to school, although I do love teaching my fifth graders. On the Monday that we get back, we get to find out if Baby #2 is a boy or a girl at our anatomy scan. I am really thinking boy, because of how totally different this pregnant has been,  but I guess we will have to wait a week to see.

 I am remembering each day to thank God for all I have to be thankful for, which is so much. My family. This little blessing growing inside of me. My job. Fall weather. Hot coffee. Quiet moments. God is good and I am thankful for his blessings.

The End is Near 2013-2014

The end is near. 4 more days until the final dismissal of the 2013-2014 school year. 4 more days until school is out for the summer....finally. The final day of third grade for my students.  The final day of my third full year of teaching third grade for me. I can see that the end is near  in their inability to sit still as they on their grape chairs, as they try with all their might to focus, I can tell by the glazed over look in their eyes, as their minds are drifting to summer things; swimming and going to the park, Holiday World and grilling out, 4th of July. I hear it in their voices as the voice level in my classroom goes up, and up, and up, "Which pool do you swim at?" "Are you going to summer school?" "I'm gonna be at the Y every day." "I'm gonna play video games for eight hours straight." I see that summer is almost here in their short shorts, tank tops, and flip flops. I can tell that it is near by the Venti iced coffee that I thoughtlessly ordered this morning, to help get this teacher through. I never order a Venti. The end must be near.

It is truly bittersweet for me. This year more than ever. Each year, I come to truly love and care about the sweet kiddos in my class. They are my 20 babies. They are special. They are smart. They are talented. They have gifts. And talents. They are silly and bubbly. They have learned. And grown. And succeeded. I wonder, have I told them that enough?  Have I shown them? Have I been everything I could for them as their teacher? Do they know what they have taught me, not only what I have taught them? I pray that they do. Will they remember me when they remember 8x8? Will they remember me when they read, just for pleasure? Will they remember me when they find figurative language in poetry? Will they remember me when all of those things fade, and they have jobs and families? Will they remember me with special thoughts of third grade. I pray that they will.

This year, it is truly bitter sweet. As I say good-bye to 20 9-year-old faces eager for summer break, I get to shout, "It's summer!" to one joyful one year old who will be thrilled to have her mommy home. I envision summer days full of swimming in her baby pool, reading book after book, popsicles and ice cream, long walks, CMOE, sidewalk chalk and painting, the list goes on and on. This summer will be gone in the blink of an eye, just like this school year is.

 It is bittersweet for sure.