Monday Appointment, Contentment, and More.

As I mentioned in my last post, I was scheduled for a follow up appointment with my doctor this week. I went in for Monday, and got some unexpected news. She requested that I take the remainder of my pregnancy off from work due to prenatal hypertension. She told me that this is what most doctors would request with someone having hypertension so early in their pregnancy. She also said that it was the only option. She said that she will not be surprised at all if the hypertension eventually progresses into Preclampsia. I was in shock. (I still might be a little.)

And to be honest. I've cried. (at least 5 times) Why? I love my job. I have said numerous times that my job doesn't even feel like work (most of the time) I thought I still had months left with my precious students, months left to perfect my maternity leave notes, months left to prepare these kiddos for the dreaded standardized testing, months left to prepare them for when I am gone. I teach a special education inclusion class, and change is hard for many of these kids. I wanted to do my best to prepare them for such a big change, instead I didn't get to prepare them at all (I was planning to teach until Spring Break!), hardly got a chance to tell them good-bye. By far the hardest part for me is that since I am on FMLA, I am unable even to step foot into the school, so no visiting, at all. How do you explain that to eight and nine year olds? I'd hate for them to think that I don't want to visit them...

Even though this news is still very fresh, God is already at work, and that is how I know that all of this, even if I don't understand it, even if it's not what I want for myself, is all part of God's perfect plan for my life and for my little girl's. I'm pretty sure God wanted to make very clear that he was speaking to me in the past 36 hours or so. Let me explain.

I read a pregnancy devotional book each morning, but I had gotten a little behind in the book, so last night I got the book out to catch up. The topic for the day that I was on was Finding Contentment, followed by the verse, Philippians 4:12-13, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation  whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."  I know that I haven't been definitely "content" with the situation that I am in right now, so I just thought, Ok, God, I get it. On a side note, I took a sneak peek ahead in my devotional and the topic is. Making Sacrifies for Your Baby, with the verse, "Whatever you do, do everything for God's glory-  1 Corinthians 10:31.

Anyway, I put away my devotional book, and got out my kindle. Someone recommended the book, Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. lo and behold, God reminded me again of Philippians 4:12-13, along with the following recipe for contentment.

• Never allow yourself to complain about anything--even the weather.
• Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
• Never compare your lot with another's.
• Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
• Never dwell on tomorrow--remember that tomorrow is God's, not ours.

I am sad to admit that I have been doing all of the above, but God is at work.  He just might think I need to hear about contentment more than one time...

This morning before I got into the shower, I turned on an audio devotional. I have gotten into this habit this school year. This morning, the devotional was Joyce Meyer, and the topic was.....Consistently Content! God definitely knows me well, and knows that I need lots and lots and lots of reminders.

So, if you've actually made it through this novel-blog, I would appreciate prayers in the following ways.

• That I will be content with the circumstances that God has given me at this time of my life.
• That my blood pressure will stay low and my condition won't progress to Preclampsia too early.
• That Eden will stay healthy and continue growing inside for a long while!
• That God will be with my class and their new teacher, and help them to all adjust well.

Today I am thankful:

• for a husband who takes care of me, eats breakfast (that he cooks) with me before he goes to work, and learns to take blood pressure  manually so that we don't have to use a digital machine.
• that my baby girl is growing nicely, despite my Hypertension.
• for my mom who came to bring me lunch, decorate cookies with me, and keep me company
• for friends and family who are supporting me, encouraging me, and spending time with me
• for the first semester that I got to teach my wonderful class at Evans.
• for supportive administrators at my school
• for Evans faculty who are keeping me posted and updated 

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers!