Tuesday, February 26, 2013

On cookies, hunger, anxiety, and sleep.

Today is a gloomy day. Rainy. Cold. Blugh. As for me, I am still cuddled up in bed with my puppy and our brand new laptop. I have my 35 week appointment today, but everything has been good as far as blood pressure goes, baby has been active, and I feel good overall, so I really don't expect any surprises.  I cannot believe that Miss Eden Ansley will be here in 5 weeks (or less) (ok..or maybe a little more,) but time is ticking, and this is definitely becoming more real. Earlier in my pregnancy my doctor had said that she would induce me at 37 weeks regardless of how my blood pressure was at that time, because she said that it being high early on was an indicator that something was not normal about my pregnancy. However, my blood pressure has been wonderful for so long, that I really don't see this happening, so I am not counting on meeting our little angel in two weeks, and I know it really is best for her to stay in as long as possible. Did I mention that I praise God daily for this, because my bp going low and staying low definitely is unexpected, even by my dr.

On food...I have been ravenous lately, and I feel that I need to document this, so that I can look back and laugh later on when I am no longer pregnant. Last night was the worse, I was so hungry, and every time I ate something, I felt just as hungry.  I had two no bake cookies, then a piece of 2% Colby jack string cheese, then a piece of swiss cheese, then a cup of fat free tapioca (I don't even really like tapioca),  before feeling full. I hate going to bed hungry.

About those cookies...At 35 weeks pregnant, and like I said, ravenous, cookies are not a good item to have anywhere in the house. However, Josh decided to bake Snickerdoodles and no bakes to take to work, and then he decided to leave the no bakes at home. These are probably the best no-bakes I have ever had, might I add!  How sweet, huh? Not so much! It is a constant temptation and a constant battle between," I know I don't need it", and "I really do need another." It's bad. I recently started documenting my nutrition and fitness on MyFitnessPal again, because I realized that although I was trying to eat nutritiously, I was still probably taking in many more calories than I actually needed. I have also begun doing 40 minutes on the arc trainer at the gym daily. My weight gain has slowed down significantly, and I am feeling much better about myself.

On sleeping...I really haven't been sleeping well lately, and I think this is due to anxiety. I am anxious about so many things. I know that some of them are irrational, however, I just can't help it! I know my time at home has been a blessing, because I have been able to spend more time focusing on what God's word says about anxiety, worry, fear, etc. This time in the morning has been awesome non-rushed time spent journaling, in the word, reading my devotional, and in prayer. However the 10+ hours a day I spend at home, also gives me a lot of time to think about and dwell on things. My mind goes to some pretty unpleasant places. Lately, I have not been able to sleep, not only due to anxiety, but also due to not being able to get comfortable. The time after 6am when Josh is gone to work is wonderful, because I stretch out with all the pillows, and have the whole bed to myself. Throughout the night though, it is just hard to get comfortable. I think it could be much worse though.

Well, I think that's all for today . . . I am going to force myself out of this oh-so-comfy bed, make a chai tea latte, and some oatmeal with berries, and have my quiet time. Then it's off to the gym. I have a pretty busy day today!

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