Day 12

Last night, I did not make wise food choices. Tostadas, fried shrimp, mudslide just to name a few of my embarrassingly terrible choices, but I refuse to beat myself up about it. I am going to know that as a child of God, I am still beautiful. Still forgiven. Still loved. This morning I made a better choice. I had the knife ready to cut into the moist, gooey brownies that the couple we are staying with so kindly made. My mouth was watering and I could practically taste the brownie. Then I heard that voice inside my head telling me to flee! For a minute, I made rationalizations in my mind about why I should be able to have that brownie, guilt free, please. and thank you. But at last, I stepped away from the brownies, grabbed a nutri-grain bar, fruit, and a cup of coffee and darted out of the kitchen before my taste buds could change my mind about the brownies that were still screaming my name. Now that I am satisfied by my healthy choices, I no longer have any desire for those brownies. Thank you Jesus. 

Today, I am hosting a bachelorette party in Nashville, TN for two very close friends. This is me telling you to keep me accountable (whether you are there or not) for the food/drink choices that I make this weekend. I definitely know that at one point or another, "This is a special occasion and I deserve it!" will cross my mind, but I also know that God does not want me continuing on this cycle. He is helping me to break free, and I do not want to take one giant leap backwards just for one weekend/night of fun that in the end will leave me filling emptier than before.

The verse to get us focused today is this, “I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:17–19)


Lysa says, "For years, I walked around with a little heart-shaped cup in my soul, holding it out to people or things trying to find fulfillment. Some of us hold out our heart-shaped cup and expect a husband to love us in ways that rights our wrongs and fills up our insecurities. Sometimes, we expect our kids to be successful so that we look good and feel validated by their accomplishments. Or, we hope that a successful career will confirm that we are a valuable human being.

At times, I have asked the impossible of all of these. But my consistent “friend” of choice over the years has been food. Imagine my little heart-shaped cup as a candy dish, using sweets and snacks to soothe my emotions."

What are you holding out your little heart-shaped cup to? For me it has always been food, but throughout high school it was boyfriends as well. I was always left wondering why my heart-shaped bowl never felt full. 

If you are on this wonderful journey, you, like me, need to change old lies with new truths. Here is what Lysa has to say about that,

Old lie: “I am such a failure when it comes to my diet.”

New truth: “I am not a failure. I am a lavishly loved child of God. Part of my right as a child of God is to operate in a power beyond myself. The Holy Spirit is God’s gift to me. So it is possible for me to use the self-control I’ve been given.”

Old lie: “I need these Oreos!”

New truth: “The thought that these Oreos will fill me is a lie. They will taste good for just the few minutes it will take to eat them. Then that hollow feeling of guilt will rush in as soon as the chocolate high dissipates. If I truly need a snack right now, I am capable of choosing a healthier option.”

Old lie: “God seems far away and French fries are right around the corner at the drive-thru.”

New truth: “French fries don’t love me. And the only lasting thing I get from them is the cholesterol and cellulite they inevitably leave behind, which will just compound my frustration. God’s love is here in this moment and in many more to come. His love is true and carries with it only positive residual 

effects.” 

I need to remind myself daily that the ONLY, ONLY ONLY thing that is going to fill me is the love and grace of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. This is both comforting and wonderful. With this knowledge, I know that my little heart-shaped cup can and will be filled to the brim and even overflowing when I choose to be filled up by His love and grace alone.