Thankful :-)

Today has been a very much needed day off. Haven't done much. . . found a doctor here in Evansville, went to the bank, did some shopping, stopped by Starbucks for a Skinny Peppermint Mocha, and did some housecleaning...pretty low key day.

It's hard to believe that it has been a year since Mamaw passed away, but Huntington's had had her in chains for a long time before she physically passed away. I know that she is in a better place, but the Holidays really do make it tough sometimes.... She was a special part of them....and no one makes cheese ball like she did. :)

I have so much to be Thankful for this Thanksgiving, and I just might need to take a lesson from my third graders in remembering them. During my literacy group last week, I had six of my students read a story about Thanksgiving and a little girl who had to write an essay about one thing she was thankful for. After reading, I had them sit in a circle and go around the circle continuously taking turns saying one thing that they were thankful for. These sweet kiddos went on.....and on...and on. Finally, I had to stop them so that we could write! They named everything from shelter to buses to get to school to books to their favorite teacher. :)  They are wonderful.

I am thankful for my husband, my friends, my family, my pets, shelter and transportation, my amazing job and my students, a pay check to buy all of the things that we need, the ability to give to others, my church family and my small group.

I am also thankful for so many little things: Christmas music, coffee, the ability to exercise, the ability to read and write, our financial situation,  KLove, fruit, my husband's cooking, pajama pants, workout buddies, my coworkers, my keurig, etc., etc, etc. . .

I.
am.
blessed.

New Do

My wonderful stylist at Shannon Alexsandr Salon (Justine Brock) dyed my hair on Thursday to get me all Fallified. It ended up being darker than I had expected, but I was willing to give it a chance. My students on the other hand were not so sure. From the minute that the kiddos walked into school on Friday morning, the talk of the third grade hallway was my new-do. Mrs. Bowman dyed her hair, Mrs. Bowman has new hair. .  the kids were going crazy, all because of my hair.

Here are some of the hair quotes.

"Mrs. Bowman...is that permanent...is it permanent...is it permanent...is it permanent?" (One of my students during a Math lesson. After he asked me four times, I realized that ignoring him wasn't going to work.) Finally I said, "No it isn't." and he said, "Whew...so it'll change back in a few weeks?" So I said, "No...Don't you like it." "Eh, good enough," he said.

"Mrs. Bowman, I  thought yo hair was mixed!"

Really sweet (normally) little girl in Mrs. Zeller's room, "Mrs. Bowman, why did you dye your hair. It looked good before. Now it looks a little bit more horrible."

Uh wow. . .
Let's just say that it was quite the distraction throughout the day.

Let's also say that I may just have had Justine add a few highlights.

Oh, School!

Everything is moving so crazy and so fast and I need to blog so that I do not forget every single thing about my first year of teaching. By the way, I left school at six, and I so could have stayed 'till eight. Blugh. I guess this is what being a first year of teacher is all about . . . So here goes:

Funny Story:
-I'm pretty sure that one of my student's medicine wears off by the end of the day. He can't resist talking and is constantly calling out, bouncing around, and just acting plain silly. The special ed. teacher who teaches Math with me told him that if he wasn't good she was going to send him over to "Jalilpourland" (This is the name of another third grade teacher who for some reason the kids sort of fear, from stories I guess) The teacher also told him that Mrs. Jalilpour was his very worst nightmare. He responded by saying that she couldn't possibly be his very worst nightmare, because last night he had had a nightmare about a ghost chasing him around and trying to kill him, and that had to be worse.


Sweet Moment: 
Mrs. Bowman, I love literacy centers, especially the reading center, because I get to spend it with you.
Seeing the looks on my kids faces when they all understood a concept we were working on in Math and 



Lesson Learned: 
-If a kid says he needs to go to the bathroom, think long and hard about if you should left him go or not, before saying "no...."

Week 2, Another Success

Week two was another great success. I love my kids. They are so sweet. They also crack me up. We definitely have fun, that's for sure! I told them that I was going to start a "tarmer" for two minutes for them to clean out their desks..(instead of timer.). Hey, we all get a little tounge tied on occasion. They were cracking up and so was I. One of them asked me if I was a hillbililly.-P. I also loved seeing the excitement in their little faces when I was teaching them multiplication by 1's and 0's and they were all getting it, even the special ed. kiddos!! They were so proud of themselves!! A parent wrote in an agenda book thanking me for being such a caring teacher for her daughter. Awe. .  This week, just pray that I can be filled with patience and overflowing with God's love for the kiddos, and also that I will not worry about things that are out of my control. Please, and thank you.

On another note, I am excited for new things that are gearing up. I sent in my application for Big Brothers Big Sisters so that I can get that started up again now that we are all settled in down here, so just waiting to hear back from that.  I miss Macy and Moses all the time, but I am excited for the impact that we most certainly made on them, and the impact that they made on us. I am also going to start volunteering in the Kids Program or the Nursery at church. I had such a good time doing AWANAs at First Baptist Church. I mean, I loved it. It was seriously right up there next to working at SpringHill. Josh and I are also finally going to get involved in a small group down here. Can I say, it is about time for all of these things to happen and for our procrastinating to stop. :-)

Anyway, have a great week!

Week One: A Success!

I had a great first full week at school. I love my class. I love my job. Even though there are things that are stressful and overwhelming, I am so excited and thankful to be a teacher!! I need to keep that in mind at the times when things do get super stressful and overwhelming. I am so blessed. Here's why:
-My students are so sweet. One little girl even brings me an orange every day. (One teacher said that maybe she thinks I look malnourished, but I think it is just because she loves me. :)
-Another student hugs me at the end of every day and tells me that I am the best teacher ever and he doesn't ever want to leave school. (Thanks for the ego boost, kiddo.)
-Two of my special education kids were so excited during a Word Wisdom activity today . . . it made me so happy to see them wanting to learn!
- There are seriously so many moments when I think, I get paid to do this?? Wow!
-The Evans staff is beyond awesome. Enough said.

Anyway, I am very excited for a stress-free, relaxing weekend at home! Teaching full time means that Saturdays and Sundays are to be treasured! Enjoy everyone!

Third Grade

I started my first day of teaching Third Grade on Thursday, and I have a feeling that I am going to love it! The kids are not quite as big (or scary) as I had imagined them being. :-p  They are actually sweet .. . I am well aware, that this is because it was the first two days and they were probably still coming out of their shells, shy, or tired, but I have to keep in mind that the clientel at Evans makes it the kind of school where I have always wanted to teach..... ever since working with the kids of Cairo, IL on a youth group mission trip. Although I have not recieved as many hugs as I did from my Kindergarteners, I have been given a few, and I am okay with bigger kids= less germs. :) I also have a poster hanging next to my desk that says, Everyone Loves Mrs. Bowman. That's right, everyone. Be jealous....Oh, and of course, an apple on my desk from a student. I believe that my attitude will play a big part in how this year plays out, and I am beyond excited and pumped about my students and the learning that is going to happen in our classroom!!
I am also so excited about being a part of the Evans staff and growing/being stretched as a teacher this year! I am sure that I will use this blog a lot! So, stay posted, and enjoy the photos from my classroom. (More to come later- For some reason it wouldn't let me upload some of them.)

Seeya later, Summer!

Summer. What summer? It seems to have gone by in the blink of an eye. I love summer and now another one has come and gone. This one was filled with job searching, getting at job---teaching third grade!! Yay!, Gatlinburg, laying out by the pool, Holiday World, getting my classroom ready, Orange Leaf, putt-putt, movies, girl time, watermelon, cookouts, weddings, and other fun memories.*Sigh* and now tomorrow is back to reality, but I am excited to start a new chapter as a Third Grade teacher with an awesome staff and great kids at a local Elementary School! Bring it on!

I plan to use my blog to document the good, bad, and ugly of my first year as a classroom teacher. I'm excited for what is in store for me this year, and I want to be able to remember the happenings of my first (official) year as a teacher for many years to come. So tomorrow it begins, 5:15 mornings, late afternoons, busyness, craziness, but finally I am doing what I went to school to do and what I am passionate about doing. I couldn't be more excited!

Beginning to look more like a classroom . . .

Today was a very productive day. I woke up early and went into school to work on my classroom. I found 42 desks in my room, for the 15 kids that will be in my class. I kept a few extra and put the rest out in the hallway. I know there is a chance that I will be getting more kiddos from the Vogel district, but I am hoping that I do not get 27 more kids....I felt much better about my room with all of the desks gone. I also have tables now and chairs. Woo. This may seem like a small thing, but I am feeling very good about things, since I started out with an empty room (well it had a teacher desk) and now I have made some progress. 9 more school work days left. I won't lie, I had a slight panic attack in my mind when I saw that all of the school supplies were out at Wal-Mart. Where did this summer go, and why did it go so fast?

After working on my room, I laid out by the pool for a little bit, mowed the grass, and did an abs workout. Oh how I love summer . . . Turonis tonight with Josh, Ashlee, and Robert.

Hello Again

Hello again, blog! I apologize that it has been way too long. Life does have a way of getting away sometimes.

I just got back from a trip to Gatlinburg with Josh and the extended Kerkhof/Bowman/Jackson/Miller family. It was a good, relaxing time. Most of it anyway. I learned that not all people vacation the way my family did growing up---not nearly as much relaxing/napping/lounging. Also not nearly as much eating out which is good for the whole healthy eating thing... We hiked a four mile trail to Chimney tops in The Great Smoky Mountain National Park. It was so hot that my hair was dripping sweat onto my shoulders by the time that we were done, but the view at the top was amazing! I posted the hiking pictures on facebook. Other highlights of the trip were Apple Barn, the Old Mill, relaxing in the hot tub, hilly walks, shopping at the Tanger Outlet, although I didn't find too many good deals. putt-putt, Gatlinburg. I also learned  that I really, really, really hate heights, especially when in a big tram going over the mountains. What should have been a beautiful sight, was not. Don't worry though, I was reassured/encouraged by a fifth grader on the way down the mountain, and I am sure that she thought it was funny that I am supposed to be teaching third grade in the fall . . ..

About that, I will be teaching third grade at Evans in the fall. Well, I guess Fall starts on August first, because that is when I will be going back. 11 school days until Back to School time. 11 school days to finish getting my classroom ready. Ahh.. . I know it will all come together, although it is slightly overwhelming.

Well, I wanted to give an update. Off to get ready for Spanish Club tonight. Like I need Mexican food after the day I had today--breakfast on the road at Hardees, a frappe for a snack, and lunch at Culvers--oh my!! It is back to healthy eating tomorrow for sure!!

Candy . . .

So this is how I have been feeling this week. . . Or maybe, every week. I absolutely cannot stop eating the m&m's that I have at school for my students. HELP!

Rainy, stormy, dreary Monday

Today was a good day, even though it was a rainy, cloudy, stormy, dreary Monday, and Howard Roosa was humid and hot inside, even with some of the windows open. I was dripping with sweat while teaching, especially in my third grade classroom--pleasant, I know. I don't know if it was the weather or my smell, but half of that class felt the desire to sleep, while I was teaching. We were reviewing our tests from Friday and kids were nodding off left and right. Were they bored? Maybe! But did they know the stuff? No! Not sure how I could have made it more exciting without singing and dancing in the front of the room. Maybe I could have stood on my head? Who knows...

Four of the fourth graders that I work with today told me that they had put together a committee to talk to the principal about letting me stay when the teacher who is on maternity leave comes back. I was proud of them for coming up with the word 'committee.' I will have to go back and visit them once my time at HR comes to an end.

I have come to the conclusion that married life is, at times, not good for my healthy eating habits. Slushies and Papa Johns Pizza just to name a few reasons.. I gotta kick the 'I'll do better tomorrow' attitude out of my head, and I need to do better now. Tracking my eating habits has helped me to realize that my eating habits are fine until after school and after my workout. Then I just want to eat everything in my sight, and sometimes even in my house. So, I am trying to figure out what to do to stop the ravenous afternoon eating. Any ideas? I would say I eat close to 2/3 of my daily calories at night. Woah!!

Anyway, today was a good day. Tonight Josh and I ordered pizza, and I did some house work. We also just sat around and did nothing. This is not something that normally happens for us. We are not as busy as we were in Seymour, but in some ways, I miss the busyness of spending time with the littles, helping with AWANA, and such. I am ready to begin serving here, and excited to get more involved in our church.

Anyway,
Have a good week everyone!

Natalie

Day 17

This weekend was wonderful. Not only was it wonderful, but I actually feel rested and ready for teaching tomorrow. Yay.

Here is a snapshot of the weekend...
*Heather Jo came and spent the whole weekend with us!
*Went to Illinois and spent some time with family. . sadly, did not get to see Katie E.
*Saw HOP with Josh, Beth, Ashlee, Sunny, and Heather Jo.
*31 party at Erin's house
*Hacienda with friends
*Church at Crossroads
*Grilling out and hiking with Josh
*Marriage small group
Okay, So I know it is way past day 17, but for blogging purposes, since the last day I did the Made to Crave blog was Day 17.

Day 17: Don’t Fence Me In!

Based on Chapter 15 of Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst

 Thought for the Day: Boundaries are not restrictive fences meant to keep you from enjoying life, but gifts from a God who cares about your well-being.

When you think of the words no, boundaries, and limitation, do they stir up feelings of deprivation and resistance in you? I know that is how I feel sometimes. Lysa speaks of how she has learned to embrace the boundaries of the healthy eating plan that she chose. She has chosen to see these limits as parameters that define her freedom. It does seem much more pleasant when you look at it that way. Here is a story that Lysa shares in her book:

"I learned this principle through my sweet, little dog, Chelsea, who isn’t the brightest canine around cars. She’s obsessed with trying to attack the tires crunching against our gravel driveway inside our fenced-in yard. As a result, she had an unfortunate encounter with a moving vehicle about the same time I started my healthy eating plan.

 After Chelsea’s injury, the vet informed us that helping her heal meant we’d have to keep her calm for three weeks. This recommendation sounded crazy considering it’s hard to keep Chelsea still for three minutes! Worse, she was forbidden to bite or pull at her bandages and stitches. So, the dreaded cone was placed around her neck to keep her injuries out of reach. 

As Chelsea healed, I was the master of her new limitations. She punished me with hours of whining and crying. She constantly tried to escape through our fence and kept snapping at her bandages. However, my love for this dog wouldn’t permit me to let her to harm herself. Her brokenness couldn't handle that kind of freedom. Not yet.

 As I watched Chelsea struggle, I was struck by the way her situation applied to my issues with eating healthy. My brokenness couldn’t handle freedom with food outside the boundaries of my plan. Not yet. Eventually I would be able to add some things back into my diet in small quantities. But not yet." 

As women, our brokeness with food, often runs deep, so our healthy eating habits have to run even deeper.

Here are a few of the boundaries I’ve created to ensure success on my healthy eating adventures.

I can find ways to celebrate that don’t involve blowing my healthy eating plan.

If I am in a situation where the temptation is overwhelming, I will have to choose either to remove the temptation or remove myself from the situation.

Struggling with my weight isn’t a curse from God. Being overweight is an outside indication that internal changes are needed for my body to function properly and for me to feel well.

"I’ve learned that boundaries aren’t restrictive fences meant to keep us from enjoying life, but gifts from a God who cares about our well-being. Whether you are staring at a party hors d’oeuvre table of all things cheesy, or ready to bite your friend’s head off as she reminds you of the healthy eating plan you chose, I pray these boundaries help you like they’ve helped me."

Oh, Riley

Riley had his one year birthday this month, and he is still chewing, destroying, and demolishing things on a regular basis.  When does it ever end? I thought he would be growing out of it by now. Last week, he chewed up a stuffed squirrel. Tore it to shreds all over the living room. (Pictures on facebook.) Then, today he chewed a pillow, tore it even more to shreds than the squirrel with stuffing everywhere. He also knocked a plant over on the carpet, chewed part of a razor and some other random papers, all while I was taking a  much-needed nap and all with his muzzle on!! What do we do? I think we need to go back to obedience school. Pronto.

This morning, when Ashlee and I were taking showers, we both heard Riley barking, growling, and sounding all vicious. At first I thought that maybe he was barking because Ashlee was in the bathroom with the door closed, but after walking into the hallway, I could see that he was standing in the guest bedroom barking, which freaked me out. Ashlee and I decided to get a knife from the kitchen (just to be safe?...I don't know) Anyway, we walked slowly into the guest bedroom to see that Riley was barking at an empty room. (Well, empty of predators that is) It appeared that Riley was barking at  a pair of Ashlee's pants laying on the guest bed, and the feeling was confirmed when he jumped back a couple feet when Ashlee went to move the pants. It's okay though, we let him sniff them, and he is no longer afraid of Ashlee's pants.

Below is a popular video circulating around right now---I found out about it via Bridgett Nelson. It's currently on Youtube. Sure wish Riley reacted with this kind of remorse.

Last night, I had a girl's night with Ashlee, Bridgett, Erin, and Cassie. It was a great time! We had dinner, drinks, lots of girl talk, and painted our nails. This weekend I am excited for Heather Jo to visit, seeing Katie E. and Beth Heisler, and for a 31 party with my girls. This week has been a long one, but I guess it is to be expected for the week after Spring Break!

Good-bye Spring Break

So this blog is a continuation of a blog I started on Sunday.......

 I'm not going to do the whole Made to Crave blog today, but today Spring Break is coming to an end, and my feelings are quite mixed about going back tomorrow. Waking up at 5a.m. (or before) is not ideal . . .I haven't opened my eyes before 8a.m. any day on Spring Break. Lazy, I think not. I was resting to prepare for the inevitable: going back. I will definitely need a double K-cup. I am excited for the lessons that I have planned. Spring Break gave me plenty of time to get my creative-lesson-planning-juices flowing to prepare for the week to come. I have six weeks until the special education teacher comes back and I am finished at Howard Roosa. I am sure those 6 weeks will fly by...Then I need to figure out what I will be doing this summer, once subbing comes to and end. Still hoping and praying for a teaching job for next year. I'd appreciate the prayers there.

I have been logging my food on a diary on my IPOD. It is called MyFitnessPal and you can also do it on a Smart Phone or on the computer. I love it! At the beginning it profiles you asking what your height, weight, and ideal weight are.  You enter the food that you eat throughout the day and it tells you  how many calories and how much fat you have consumed, as well as which nutrients you need more of and have had too much of. It has really opened my eyes to the times that I do overeat  and the fact that I use food when I am bored, feel sad, am stressed, etc, etc. Although I have gone over by a few calories almost every day, I know that I am getting closer to eating the amount that I am "supposed to eat."

Robert and Ashlee came over for dinner last night. I made stroganoff and meatballs for the first time. I even blended the mushrooms--per my husband's request. Sure hope our kids do not take after his picky eating habits.  :) I also made angel food cake with pudding icing. Yum. We had a good time!!

Tonight, Tonya and Jordan came over. We had tacos with all kinds of fixings and ah-mazing peanut butter pie that Tonya made. YUM!  Another good night!

Tomorrow night I am having a girls' night. Josh will be in Indianapolis, so let the girlieness begin!

That's all for today!

Temporary Relapse

So, I had a wonderful dinner tonight with Cassie Paugh. Wonderful that is, minus the feelings I felt physically and spiritually  after over-filling myself with black bean quesadilla, margaritas, and chips with ranch. *Sigh.* It has been so good to not have this feeling for a while, but today I had what you  call a food relapse. I relapsed big-time into my pre-journey state. . . Was the food good? Yes! Would I have been satisfied with eating half as much? Yes... Not. Good. I was talking and having such a great time, don't get me wrong, but as we talked and caught up, I ate, and ate, and ate, and ate...and you get the picture. I ate a lot! I felt like someone needed to roll me out at the end of the meal, and I lost my feeling of satisfaction that I had been carrying for quite some time on this journey. At the end of the day now though as I sit on the couch typing this (in my stretchy yoga pants and a baggy tee) I am satisfied with knowing that even though I messed up, even though I didn't listen to the screaming voice telling me to stop, even though I ate more than I needed, and went against everything this journey I am on is all about, my God still loves me unconditionally, and he tells me that I can start fresh with my next choice. How comforting is that? I am not ruined for one healthy food choice. What a relief.

 I am realizing that the longer I spend focusing on the issue at heart--not just food and not just the way I look, that I am beginning to crave healthier things, make better choices, and enjoy running again. Yes, I said it, I am beginning to actually enjoy running. I have made tangible changes, that I am beginning to see the results of now. Even if those results do not include shedding ten pounds. (Remember that wasn't the purpose when I began this journey.) I get excited to go to the grocery store (I guess that makes me old and married, but Schnucks on the Eastside has the biggest produce section I have ever seen---it is amazing!) so that I can browse and see what kinds of things that I can get to spice up my salads. I have been getting a lettuce herb mix that has cilantro and other things in it. . It is very yummy. I've added to it tomatoes, mushrooms, peppers, cucumbers, olives, low fat cheese....Any suggestions? I have been eating a lot of salads, and .  .. enjoying them! The Sundried Tomato Vinagrette dressing made with extra virgin olive oil is my new favorite. I can honestly tell you that I have begun to actually crave these salads. Praise Jesus, I'm craving salad!!! I definitely never thought that would happen.

 I also thought that I would never have a desire to run, and if for no other reason, I know that God is at work because of this, because this girl is not a salad-eating, run-loving kind of girl. No way. No how. I ran a mile and a half at the gym and then did fifteen minutes on the stair stepper yesterday, and I left there feeling so full of energy and satisfied with myself. Will I always want to run? Probably not, but I am excited for stepping one foot at least in the right direction. My brother gave me his I-pod touch, because he doesn't use it. Thank you, Andrew! I plan to use it to get myself pumped up for running. I downloaded a running mix today of 150 songs. I am excited to use it tomorrow when I go to the gym. It's the little things that make me continue on this journey, as well as the huge fact that my life is not consumed with the food choices that I make or the way my body looks in the mirror. I am more than the way that I look. I am more than the ice cream in the freezer that taunts me as I type.

God is working in me. To some, it might sound silly, but I do believe that unhealthy food choices and craving other things more than I crave God have been a barrier to my relationship with Him. When satisfied completely by Him, I do not have to bring guilt and dissatisfaction to the work that he has for me.

'7x70' by Chris August, No Far Away

God uses songs to teach me, stretch me, comfort me, love me, heal me, all of the time. This is definitely the one he is using for me right now. I just wanted to share it with all of you.

Lyrics to 7x70 :

I’ve been living in this house here
Since the day that I was born
These walls have seen me happy
But most of all they’ve seen me torn
They’ve heard the screaming matches
That made a family fall apart
They’ve had a front row seat
To the breaking of my heart

7 times 70 times
I’ll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way
7 times 70 times
There’s healing in the air tonight
I’m reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around

I remember running down the hallway
Playing hide-and-seek
I didn’t know that I was searching
For someone to notice me
I felt alone and undiscovered
And old enough to understand
Just when I’m s’posed to be learning to love you
Let me doubt again

7 times 70 times
I’ll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way
7 times 70 times
There’s healing in the air tonight
I’m reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around

I lost count of the ways you let me down
But no matter how many times you weren’t around
I’m all right now

God picked up my heart and helped me through
And shined a light on the one thing left to do
And that’s forgive you
I forgive you

7 times 70 times
If that’s the cost I’ll pay the price
7 times 70 times
I’ll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way

7 times 70 times
There’s healing in this house tonight
I’m reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around
Yeah
I’m gonna wrap it all around

I’ve been living in this house here
Since the day that I was born

Day 16

We have officially been Evansvillians for a week and 2 days now. It's going well so far. I am spending a lot of time getting the house ready, catching up with old friends, cooking, cleaning, walking the dog, and doing domestic kind of things. I kind of like this life. :) Josh and I got excited about something totally domestic the other day---like new laundry detergent, finding the cat liter scoop out of a box or on-sale eggs--I can't remember what it was, but it made us realize that we are definitely making the transition from college life to married-with-jobs-life, and it's actually pretty enjoyable.

My job is on hold this week, thanks to SPRING BREAK. Did I hear you say Praise Jesus!? That is exactly how I feel. I spent my first day of break sleeping in, lesson planning, catching up on some reading, getting a manicure, buying paint, working out, walking the dog, making dinner, and spending time with my husband and a friend. The weather was perfect. I couldn't ask for anything more. 

Along with my reading, I caught up with Made to Crave today. Here it is:

Day 16: The "G" word

“As the deer pants for steams of water, so my soul thirsts for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?” (Psalm 42:1–2)

Lysa says, "Have you ever heard a sermon about your eating habits? I doubt it. Excessive drinking, yes. Excessive eating, never. At least I hadn’t until a historic church-going day when the preacher man pulled out the big “G” word: gluttony. I rolled my eyes, as you have just done, and thought, “How dare you say to me that eating is a sinful desire?” But his point was brilliant and I took it to heart. How can we stand and wag our fingers in the direction of alcohol only to walk into the church-wide, covered-dish buffet and stuff ourselves sick with fried, covered-and-smothered, grossly caloric delights that buckle our paper plates and cause our stomachs to cry for antacids?" This is so true!

"I want you to hear me. I’m not saying that eating is a sinful desire. What I am saying is, if you have a script like this (“I’m fat, I’m ugly, and I’m not capable of getting it together”) playing in your mind, then something is waging war against your soul.

First Peter 2:11 reminds us, “Dear friends, I urge you as aliens and strangers in the world to abstain from sinful desires which wage war against your soul.” In other words, if something is waging war against your soul, it is a sinful desire. Now please hear me again. Eating in and of itself is not a sinful desire. God made us to consume food, but food was never supposed to consume us. And if food starts consuming us to the point where we cannot feel empowered, then that is a problem."

When we rely on food for satisfaction, just like relying on anything else to fill us, we are always left wanting more. For instance, Josh made a delicious Paula Deen Sheet Cake yesterday. Did I need this? No. (YESS!!!) Did I have more than I needed...maybe? I had plenty. I was physically full, but my desire was not fulfilled. No cake, no matter how wonderful it is will ever fill me up the way than God does. When we attempt to fill ourselves up with things other than God, then we are left feeling emptier than before.

"Our souls have the same ravenous intensity as a vacuum cleaner; that’s how God created us—with a longing to be filled. It is a longing God instilled to draw us into deep intimacy with Him. The psalmist expresses this longing as an intense thirst:

As the deer pants for steams of water, so my soul thirsts for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?

Indeed, our souls are thirsty and ravenous vacuums. If we fail to fill our souls with spiritual nourishment, we will forever be triggered to numb our longings with other temporary physical pleasures that will never satisfy."

Sometimes I know that I let my crazy-busy life get the most of my time with God. There is so many other things to do, but I know that each day I must make spending time with him a priority so that I can be full by the only One who can fill me up.  

Riley enjoying his last moments in Seymour.

 Home Sweet Home

Ry at Home

Hello, again!

I'm back from my unplanned hiatus from my blog. I  guess that's just how life goes sometimes. The past few days seem kind of like a crazy whirlwind. Not so exciting, full of sickness, teaching, sleeping, teaching, sleeping, eating a little bit, teaching, sleeping. I am finally starting to feel like myself again. Good-bye sickness! Hello energy! I'm glad you're back.
Today is day 10 as an Elementary School Special Education teacher at an elementary school in grades K-4, and I am really enjoying it. (4 more days until teacher pay!!) A lot of my students have had or still have very rough lives. Each day is a challenge, but I am learning and growing as a teacher, and trying to remember to keep these kids in my prayers at all times. I am beginning to truly care for them and about their situations. I want each of them to be able to learn, but not only that, I want them to love learning.
On other blog worthy news, I am so excited to be a bridesmaid in Miss Erin Baumgarts' wedding this fal. She is going to be a beautiful bride, and I am beyond excited to hear about it all!!
Day 15- Made to Crave
I will admit, being sick kind of took away my desire to be on the Made to Crave journey. I was not able to work out, because I was too busy sleeping, and when I ate, I wanted something fast, easy, and close. Like a large BBQ chicken pizza from Papa Johns delivered to my doorstep or vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup. It made my throat feel better, but hey, I'm back on it today!
Thought for today: Just because a woman is skinny doesn’t mean that she’s healthy. The struggles are similar, just in a different size package.
"One problem with trying to eat healthy is when you sit down next to a skinny girl who wolfs down everything on her plate. It makes me want to say, “I’ll have what she’s having.” A similar frustration pops up when Ms. Petite picks up her kids in a cute tennis outfit that I could never wear."
For me, it is sitting down next to a skinny husband who can eat anything that his little heart desires. Why  can't I, I wonder, feeling sorry for myself. If he can do it, I should be able to too, and probably more often than not, I do. 
I have realized that when I compare myself with other people, I am only thinking about what I do not have, and I become blind to what I do have. I begin to think in a way that is not healthy. If only I were thinner, then I'd be happy. If I looked like she does, then I'd be happy.  I forget in these moments, that everyone has not-so-good things.
Lysa says,
"Sure, my size-two friend could eat all the snacks she wanted, but she’s got other struggles for which she has to depend on God. For instance, consider that skinny girl in your life who eats whatever she wants and makes you think, “How unfair.” Yet listen to what she might say in return, as someone once shared with me: “I am one of the skinny girls, but don’t mistake skinny for healthy. I battle depression, self-esteem issues, and verbal abuse. The list seems endless. Being little doesn’t make a person any more happy or faithful or joyful. The struggles are similar, just in a different size package.”

James 1:3–4 says, The testing of your faith develops perseverance, and perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature, complete, not lacking anything.

This will become my prayer: (Maybe you should make it yours too.) “God, I recognize that I am made for more than the vicious cycle of being ruled by food, body image, and comparing myself to others. I am thankful that You made my body unique in ways that I can serve You and in ways that turn my reliance upon You. I need to eat to live, not live to eat. So I keep asking for Your wisdom to know what to eat and Your indwelling power to walk away from things and thoughts that are not beneficial for me.”

"Oh sweet sisters, this truth should be the cry of our souls and drown out Satan’s lie that “she has it easier.” Our taste buds crave many things to satisfy, but only persevering with God will make us truly full."

Child Artwork

First Grade Drawing - PRICELESS! 
A first grade girl handed in the drawing above 
for her homework assignment.. 
   
 The teacher graded it and the child brought it home. 
She returned to school the next day with the following note: 

Dear Ms. Davis, 
I want to be perfectly clear on my child's homework illustration. 
It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint surrounded by male customers with money. 
I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. 
This drawing is of me selling a shovel. 
Sincerely, 
Mrs. Harrington

Day 14

  I had a wonderful date with my husband last night. Dinner at Max&Ermas. Then went to the mall, and he pampered me by having my get a manicure. Then I got a new outfit for going to the gym. Maybe it will motivate me. :) Here is day 14 of my Made to Crave journey.

“His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” (Lamentations 3:22–24).  Say it again! I just love the truth found in this verse.

Lysa discusses how a Biblical story made her think of portion control in a whole new way. Now, after reading the story again myself, I would have to totally agree with her.

"The term “portion control” took on a whole new meaning for me one day when I read the response that God’s people had after Moses led them out of slavery in Egypt. God had performed several sensational miracles to help them escape their captors. Yet they panicked when food became scarce. They even asked to go back to slavery in Egypt where food was supposedly abundant. But God planned to use their desire for food to teach them about daily dependence upon Him. As Israelites traveled through the desert, each morning God would rain down exactly what they needed for nourishment—a provision called “manna,” which I imagine was something like little, sweet, potato flakes. They were to collect just enough manna for the day. They couldn’t gather extra, except before the Sabbath day of rest, or it would rot. This daily process was intended to put them in the habit of dependence on God, and only God. However, the Israelites began to grumble and turned their hearts against God. So He took them on a detour. Instead of heading straight to the Promised Land of freedom, they wandered in the desert for forty years while they learned how to truly depend on God."

WOW! I do not want to spend the next 40 years trying to figure this thing out! I do not want to continue going through this same struggle, reliving this same cycle,  going through these same motions. I cannot. I will not, because I was made for more. Here is what I need to do and maybe you need to too. 
1. Stop focusing on my body-image and weight so constantly. The way I look is not what defines me,
2. Stop grumbling about my body-image constantly. 
3. EMBRACE the freedom to walk in the grace that God has for me. 

 God is the perfect portion for everything we need, every longing we have, every desperate desire of our soul.

God is ALWAYS there! He is there when I am tired and want to much on salty chips while sitting on the couch spaced out in front of the tv. Instead, I can turn to him and say, "God, I am tired, please help me find rest in you alone. Give me the strength to accomplish what I need to accomplish." He is there when I have an argument with a family member or a stressful day at work when I want to order a pepperoni pizza to eat alone with chocolate for dessert. "God be my comforter. Help me to show your love and forgivenes, even when I do not feel like it."  He is always there, and in those times when I want to reach for the Girl Scout Cookies or starbust, I must choose to turn to him instead.

 "Whatever your situation, ask God to be your daily portion of companionship, provision, and patience—over and over. Soon, you’ll find yourself walking in victory over those things instead of looking back over tears and a pile of cake crumbs."

Day 13

The Tower of Impossibility


Verse:“Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul; if you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.” (Proverbs 24:14)

Lysa says,"Standing before a decadent dessert table piled high like a tempting tower was a daunting task. I was glowing with the first flush of success with my healthy eating plan, but now I found myself at the blow-out wedding of the season. A mere wedding cake was not enough panache for this soiree. Instead, a full buffet of chocolate truffles accompanied the groom’s cake. It was beautiful. And I 

wanted one of each flavor!

To be completely honest and open with you, I haven't really felt that success as far as my healthy eating  plan goes.  For instance, this weekend, standing in front of the snack table that had been laid out at the bachelorette party, I felt defeated, before even taking one bite. I told myself from the start that I was no match for the sweet and salty treats. . . I forgot all about the journey, and the hope that I should have in Christ. This is a hope that I should have used to smash the food-defeat that I was feeling.  

Lysa speaks of the time when she finally overcame the obstacle of letting food control her. (I hope to one day feel this way!!)"The particular healthy-eating plan that I had chosen was full of wisdom about the realities of food’s interaction with my body. In addition, I had put some healthy boundaries in place, surrounded myself with a like-minded friend, and replaced old lies in my mind with new truths. This new foundation began to slowly build, one day at a time. Healthy choices piled on top of each other day after day. Then, one day I woke up for the first time feeling incredibly empowered. I still did the typical routine with the scale—no clothes and no ponytail holder. My body was slowly changing because I had lost some weight. But the most thrilling feeling was knowing that my heart was changing. (I do feel like throughout this jouney that my heart has changed--and it is continuing to change, however I know that God still has a lot of work to do.)

"Hope over despair tasted better than any food I’d ever given up. I had sought God’s perspective using prayer, boundaries, and His fulfillment as my source. I realized nothing was worth compromising the path of victory I was on—not even the tower of truffles!

I paved my victory path by imagining every good choice I made was like settling another brick into place: bricks of prayer, wise choices, closeness to God, closeness to others, confidence, energy, and focus. Each and every time I conquered a temptation by making a healthy choice, I became stronger and stronger. And, brick by brick, prayer by prayer, good choice by good choice, my hope soared. I’m making positive physical changes, but even more importantly, I’m making wise spiritual changes. As Proverbs 24:14 reminds me, walking in spiritual wisdom secures my hope that this healthy journey will not end in defeat:

Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul; if you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.

As you face similar temptations, I can’t promise that there won’t be any more tears. There will be. And I can’t promise that sweets will no longer appeal to you. They may. I can’t even promise that the number on the scale will magically drop as quickly as you wish. It probably won’t. But gaining spiritual wisdom along the way will set your feet on a sure path of victory. Press on, my friend!"

I hope that these words from Lysa give you some encouragement today. I also hope that you will let me know how I can be praying for you on this journey. Thanks for your prayers.

Day 12

Last night, I did not make wise food choices. Tostadas, fried shrimp, mudslide just to name a few of my embarrassingly terrible choices, but I refuse to beat myself up about it. I am going to know that as a child of God, I am still beautiful. Still forgiven. Still loved. This morning I made a better choice. I had the knife ready to cut into the moist, gooey brownies that the couple we are staying with so kindly made. My mouth was watering and I could practically taste the brownie. Then I heard that voice inside my head telling me to flee! For a minute, I made rationalizations in my mind about why I should be able to have that brownie, guilt free, please. and thank you. But at last, I stepped away from the brownies, grabbed a nutri-grain bar, fruit, and a cup of coffee and darted out of the kitchen before my taste buds could change my mind about the brownies that were still screaming my name. Now that I am satisfied by my healthy choices, I no longer have any desire for those brownies. Thank you Jesus. 

Today, I am hosting a bachelorette party in Nashville, TN for two very close friends. This is me telling you to keep me accountable (whether you are there or not) for the food/drink choices that I make this weekend. I definitely know that at one point or another, "This is a special occasion and I deserve it!" will cross my mind, but I also know that God does not want me continuing on this cycle. He is helping me to break free, and I do not want to take one giant leap backwards just for one weekend/night of fun that in the end will leave me filling emptier than before.

The verse to get us focused today is this, “I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:17–19)


Lysa says, "For years, I walked around with a little heart-shaped cup in my soul, holding it out to people or things trying to find fulfillment. Some of us hold out our heart-shaped cup and expect a husband to love us in ways that rights our wrongs and fills up our insecurities. Sometimes, we expect our kids to be successful so that we look good and feel validated by their accomplishments. Or, we hope that a successful career will confirm that we are a valuable human being.

At times, I have asked the impossible of all of these. But my consistent “friend” of choice over the years has been food. Imagine my little heart-shaped cup as a candy dish, using sweets and snacks to soothe my emotions."

What are you holding out your little heart-shaped cup to? For me it has always been food, but throughout high school it was boyfriends as well. I was always left wondering why my heart-shaped bowl never felt full. 

If you are on this wonderful journey, you, like me, need to change old lies with new truths. Here is what Lysa has to say about that,

Old lie: “I am such a failure when it comes to my diet.”

New truth: “I am not a failure. I am a lavishly loved child of God. Part of my right as a child of God is to operate in a power beyond myself. The Holy Spirit is God’s gift to me. So it is possible for me to use the self-control I’ve been given.”

Old lie: “I need these Oreos!”

New truth: “The thought that these Oreos will fill me is a lie. They will taste good for just the few minutes it will take to eat them. Then that hollow feeling of guilt will rush in as soon as the chocolate high dissipates. If I truly need a snack right now, I am capable of choosing a healthier option.”

Old lie: “God seems far away and French fries are right around the corner at the drive-thru.”

New truth: “French fries don’t love me. And the only lasting thing I get from them is the cholesterol and cellulite they inevitably leave behind, which will just compound my frustration. God’s love is here in this moment and in many more to come. His love is true and carries with it only positive residual 

effects.” 

I need to remind myself daily that the ONLY, ONLY ONLY thing that is going to fill me is the love and grace of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. This is both comforting and wonderful. With this knowledge, I know that my little heart-shaped cup can and will be filled to the brim and even overflowing when I choose to be filled up by His love and grace alone. 

Day 11

Sorry that it has been 3 days. (I vowed to at least blog every other day.)  Time just flies. I started my new job today as a 9 week extended sub at Howard Roosa with 1-4 grade Special Education and I think I am really going to like it. The staff there is wonderful.

Anyway, the Made to Crave topic is, It's Not Fair! This one definitely applies to me, because I can definitely say that I've felt that way and thought that thought a time or two, or maybe three? Can I get an Amen? Do you know what I am talking about?

This is the verse, to get us focused: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.… That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9–10)


Lysa shares this story in her blog, that I can totally relate to, "A huge piece of delicious looking cake was delivered to our table. It was my favorite … it was our anniversary … and it was free! But I was at the beginning of my healthy eating adventure, which excluded sugary confections. So I graciously 
offered it to my husband. But inside a different dialogue was playing in my mind, “It’s not fair!”


Man have I ever felt that way! At times I long, wish, crave, to be able to inhale a large coke and a mozzerrela sticks like nobody's business, while still maintaining the tiny waist that said person (*cough, my husband) is able to maintain. I wish that I could enjoy that rich, moist chocolate cake with creamy vanilla ice-cream at that restaurant like my close friend does, without any guilt..or weight added 
to my thighs. But for me, that's just not how it is.

"I think this is one of the biggest tricks Satan plays to get us to give in to temptation. Saying “It’s not fair!” has caused many a girl to toss aside what she knows is right for the temporary thrill of whatever it is that does seem fair. We complain, “It’s not fair that I gain weight so easily when everyone else seems to eat whatever they want and stay trim.”

Now, realize that the dessert itself is not the problem. But if one piece of dessert leads to two and that leads to other compromises, which leads to wrecking our whole healthy eating plan, then the downward spiral reflects how temptation traps us in so many areas of life. I’ve experienced this vicious cycle myself, and I’m here to give you hope that it is possible to conquer it."

When I began to get the, It's Not Fair, mindset, then I know that I am relying on my own strength and not on God's. That is when I begin to make justifications. "She can do it, so I should be able to too." "It's my birthday." "I've been so good." "It's just one time." "Everyone else is doing it." "What can it hurt?" This is when I know that I need to turn to God's strength. "With God ALL things are possible."

Lysa tells the following story, " This battle reminds me of the time I counseled a dating couple about setting boundaries in their physical relationship. They were looking forward to the best that marital sex had to offer, but struggled with maintaining purity in the face of immediate and temporary passion. They were tempted with the thought, “It’s not fair that we can’t have sex before we’re married when we’re so in love. Everyone else does.” My advice to them was to think beyond the moment, to say out loud, “This feels good now, but how will I feel about this in the morning? The truth is, compromising my commitments for the sake of physical pleasure is not God’s best for me.”

The same advice powerfully applies to our area of struggle. As we recite truth, God’s power can fill the gap of our weakness. I don’t know what you might be struggling with today, but I can assure you that God is just and fair. There is a good reason why we must face our temptations. The struggle to say “no” may be painful in the moment, but the process is working out something magnificent within us.

I think it is important to memorize the words that God has given us that deal with unhealthy food choices. This way, when temptations come our way, we can battle them with God's word, and how could we not win?!

Day 10

Day number 10. Hmmm.. Has my way of thinking really changed? I just woke up yesterday morning with cramps. I didn't know that dropping one bc pill could cause mega cramps and starting 5 days early. But look likes I was wrong. Ouch. . So, I just had to have that nonfat carmel latte and everything bagel, which they were out of, so I had a blueberry bagel instead. I mean, I HAD to have it. Yes, it was one of those mornings, but did I  really need it? No. Did I really have to have it? No. The weekend didn't get any better after that. Let's just say it was pretty much a no-exercise-carb-fest. Black buggy for lunch yesterday. Chicken dinners at my parents. Girl Scout Cookies. Pancakes. Then a birthday dinner of lasagna, garlic bread, and Red Velvet cake, oh and salad.. But I couldn't give up any of those things, because it was my birthday dinner. Right?


Anyway, today was a very good day..despite the carby feeling. I spent the weekend at my parents house with Josh. Last night mom, dad, and I watched Life As We Knew It. Today we went to church. Then the family came over for my birthday dinner. (Grammy and Grandpa, Peggy and Floyd, Macy & Moses) It was a very pleasant day (minus the overflowing toilet, but we won't go there. :))


Today's topic is exercise. This is the thought for the day, "I fully realize that my body as a temple may not be God’s most grand dwelling. However, I want to lift up to the Lord my willingness to dedicate my exercise as a gift to Him and myself. This one act un-divides my heart and reminds me of the deeper purposes for moving my body."

Lysa says, An undivided heart. My heart was divided between exercising for another person’s reasons or finding my own motivation. I’ve found that when it comes to my body, which 1 Corinthians 6:19 calls “a temple of the Holy Spirit,” that I can’t live with divided loyalties. I can either be loyal to honoring the Lord, my husband, and my body, or be loyal to my cravings, desires, and excuses for not exercising.

An Old Testament story in Haggai struck me with the problem that a divided heart creates before God. The Israelites were charged to take care of God’s physical temple by rebuilding the actual structure. But just like most of us, they struggled with a heart divided by concerns about the everyday needs of their city and homes. And so God’s people neglected building the temple for ten years. Each year, something else seemed to be more important.

I personally do love working out, but at times I still feel myself being torn, pulled in to doing other things instead. Even when I have the day off, sometimes I still feel like there are not enough hours in the day . . . I have been pretty good about working out, but sometimes I feel like I am working out just to make up for unhealthy foods that I've eaten instead of to glorifying God.

Just as God promised the Israelites blessings for obedience, he warned them of consequences for not rebuilding the temple as He desired. And while we may not feel the effects of ignoring our health immediately, our choices will eventually catch up to us.

I finally admitted that I needed to make time, just like the Israelites, to care for my temple—my body. Each day of working out makes me feel better, stronger. When I am done with an early morning workout, it makes me feel like I can do anything with God's helped. Especially when he gets me through a specially hard workout that I absolutely did not want to do---but I did it with God's.

I fully realize that my temple may not be God’s most grand dwelling. However, I want to lift up my willingness to the Lord and dedicate my exercise as a gift to Him and myself. This one act un-divides my heart and reminds me of the deeper purposes for moving my body. How might you start rebuilding your temple today? Maybe running is not your thing. No problem. I say the best exercise for you is the kind you’ll do.